Strictly star Ellie Simmonds‘ birth mum has revealed the “traumatic” reason she gave the Paralympian swimmer up for adoption in a new documentary.
Ellie, 30, spoke to her birth mother in an emotional phone call during her new doc, which airs next week.
Ellie Simmonds on being adopted after birth mother wanted her to ‘die’
Back in 2023, Ellie fronted a documentary titled Ellie Simmonds: Finding My Secret Family.
The doc saw the Strictly star and swimmer explore her dwarfism, as well as go on a journey in search of her birth family.
Ellie was placed in foster care when she was just two days old. She was adopted by Val and Steve a couple of months later.
In the documentary, she learned that after her birth, her mother was given an information sheet that said: “Children [with dwarfism] have to deal with being stared at and laughed at by other children. Indeed, there are those with normal height who equate short stature with evil and stupidity.”
Ellie also learned that her birth mother had wished she’d had an abortion while pregnant, or that Ellie had died.
“Oh wow, she wanted me dead.” She later added: “It’s hard, because you’d hope if your child isn’t what you’d expected, you’d stick with it. I’m small, that’s it.”
Ellie learned that her parents are both still alive, living in the UK, and that her mum even lived in the same area as her.
Ellie Simmonds’ emotional phone call with birth mother in new documentary
Ellie’s new ITV documentary, Should I Have Children?, explores whether Ellie should have kids.
The show will see her speak with her birth mother, who reveals why she gave Ellie up for adoption.
“I want to know what it was like for her to decide to put me up for adoption. For her it was 30 years ago, but it’s quite a sensitive, super emotional situation,” Ellie says to camera.
Her mum, who remains anonymous, says: “It’s really quite traumatic. It’s hard for you to hear. I don’t want to in any way upset you. You’re making a decision at the wrong time of your life, because you’ve just given birth, your hormones are all over the place. You’re physically not right, you’re mentally not right.
“There was a lot in the background going on. I kept the pregnancy a secret, I gave birth on my own.”
‘It’s really quite traumatic’
Her birth mother continues, saying: “I went to a geneticist and she was very abrupt. ‘She said: ‘There you go, that’s what your baby is going to look like.’I remember thinking I can’t cope with this. Maybe I wanted a magic wand.
“All I could see was your disability. You can make excuses, but I really did struggle. I grieved the child that I thought you should have been. It was the biggest decision of my life,” she then continued.
“To give your biological child away… it was momentous. I just handed you over, and that’s something you really can never get over. The guilt is horrendous. You live with it all the time.”
Speaking to the camera later, Ellie says: “It seems that she held that guilt for a long time. That’s really sad. We put a lot of pressure on the mum in society. It’s amazing that she’s so honest and open. I think people’s fear of a disability is actually a fear of what’s inside of them.”
Ellie Simmonds: Should I Have Children? airs on Tuesday, May 27 at 9pm on ITV1 and ITVX.
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