Ellie Simmonds goes on a heartbreaking journey of discovery in the new ITV documentary Finding My Secret Family, in which she goes in search of the reasons why she was adopted.
The multiple Gold Medal-winning Paralympian explores the relationship between disability and adoption in the new hour-long show. She discovers that she was put in foster care at just 10 days old because of her dwarfism.
Ellie – who was born with achondroplasia – follows her own adoption journey and tracks down her birth mother, who she finally meets after 28 years.
Here’s everything you need to know about why Ellie Simmonds was adopted, and her journey on ITV’s Finding My Secret Family.
Why was Ellie Simmonds adopted?
Ellie Simmonds was placed in foster care from 10 days old, and later adopted by Val and Steve. She was bought up with four siblings, all of whom were adopted.
Ellie says: “Until now, it’s never emotionally affected me, it never made me feel rejected or ask why do my birth parents not want me. I’ve been so focussed on the future and never thought about it.”
She adds: “One of the reasons for being given up for adoption is because of dwarfism and maybe it can be a factor of why my personality is like it is now, because of that rejection at the start. Even if you do have a loving family being rejected straight away, like as soon as you were born.”
After questioned started to “bubble up” about her real birth family, Ellie went in search of the truth about her bloodline.
Ellie’s birth mother felt ‘very guilty’
She discovered that, shortly after her birth, the hospital confirmed that Ellie had achondroplasia. Her mother, who struggled to bond with her newborn daughter, was given an information sheet which read: “Children have to deal with being stared at and laughed at by other children. Indeed, there are those with normal height who equate short stature with evil and stupidity.”
Ellie said: “Evil and stupid? Can you imagine reading that and thinking, that’s my child? In a way, I understand, when you don’t know anything about the disability and you get this. You’re going to be scared.”
A report from a social worker stated that Ellie’s birth mother felt “very guilty”. Shockingly, the report also states that Ellie’s mum wished either that she’d “had an abortion or that Ellie had died”.
Ellie reveals her shock, saying: “Oh wow, she wanted me dead.” She later adds: ‘It’s hard, because you’d hope if your child isn’t what you’d expected, you’d stick with it. I’m small, that’s it.”
Ellie’s mother, a single parent, made the decision to give her newborn daughter up for adoption after two days.
Ellie meets her birth mother for the first time
Talking about her mum’s reasons for giving her up, Ellie says: “It’s fear; fear of who I am, of my dwarfism. If I had been born average height, and born how my older sister was, would I not have been adopted?”
During the course of filming, Ellie learns that both her birth parents are alive and living in the UK. In fact, her mother lives in the same area as Ellie.
She says: “This could be life-changing. This woman carried me for nine months, but I don’t even know her.”
After exchanging several letters, Olympic superstar Ellie finally met her birth mother during the filming of the ITV documentary. They spent nearly five hours together in a hotel.
After the meeting an emotional Ellie says: “It was amazing. We didn’t even realise the time We were howling with laughter; we have the same sense of humour.
“I think it’s really helped that finding out who I am, looking at someone who birthed me, the nature that I’m from and the questions I had to ask her and she answered them it makes you a bit more whole.”
She adds: “Although I have no idea how all this will play out, I’m glad I’ve gone through this process – questions I’ve carried for years have been answered.
“I’m proud of my life and I love my family and maybe, perhaps, that family just got bigger.”
Meanwhile, Ellie’s birth mother has suffered with her mental health, and the “guilt for not being strong enough to cope”. She admits that she “thinks about Ellie every day”. Her identity has been protected as Ellie fears she’ll be judged. However, Ellie and her birth mum have stayed in contact, and her adoptive family are supportive.
Birth father ‘wanted to make contact’
Ellie is given access to the social worker notes from the time of her adoption, and is surprised to hear news about her dad. Her birth father, who was separated from her real mum, had expressed a desire to keep in contact with Ellie.
As Ellie read the documents, she says: “Oh wow, this next bit describes that my birth father wanted me to make contact with him after I was 18 years old.”
However, she finds no reference to her mother wanted to keep in touch.
During the documentary, Ellie does not meet her birth father, and there is no explanation as to why.
Ellie Simmonds: My Secret Family on ITV
On the ITV documentary Ellie Simmonds: My Secret Family, the Strictly star spends time with families who adopted disabled children. She hears deeply personal stories from disabled people who tried to find their birth parents, only to be rejected again. The documentary highlights the pioneering work of social services teams around the UK.
Ellie explores barriers on both sides of the adoptive process – both social and institutional – and asks if we are perpetuating an unfounded stigma around having disabled children.
From probing the existence of in-built systemic bias from the moment of birth, to a lack of awareness, Ellie’s mission is to investigate and unravel this complex issue.
During the documentary, Ellie breaks down when she tracks down the family that fostered her briefly when she was just three months old. She’s moved to hear that her foster mum suspected Ellie went on to become the famous swimmer.
Ellie Simmonds: Finding My Secret Family airs on Thursday, July 06, 2023 at 9pm on ITV1.
What do you think of Ellis Simmonds’ parents giving her up for adoption? Leave us a comment on our Facebook page @EntertainmentDailyFix.