Gemma Collins admitted grief is hitting in waves following the death of her beloved mum Joan earlier this week.
The former TOWIE favourite told fans she is taking each day as it comes. She said some moments feel manageable. Then the sadness suddenly returns.
In a new Instagram post, Gemma shared a photo of a small memorial for Joan. It included a framed picture of them together, flowers and candles.
She wrote: “Grief is the price we pay for love.”
Gemma also thanked fans for the support they have sent since she announced Joan’s death. She said: “Thank you from the bottom of my heart for every message, every prayer, every kind word. I’m reading them all and getting back to everyone slowly. Please bear with me. Some moments I feel okay, and then it comes in waves.”
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The sign Gemma Collins believes is keeping mum Joan close
Gemma said one small detail has brought her comfort during the darkest days. She told followers a butterfly keeps appearing wherever she goes.
Joan Collins was Gemma Collins’ mother and became a familiar face to some viewers through appearances alongside her daughter on The Only Way Is Essex.
- She was married to Gemma’s father, Alan Collins.
- Gemma publicly marked her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary in March.
- Joan was often referenced by Gemma in interviews and social media posts about family life.
- Her appearances on screen helped establish the close bond within the Collins family.
She wrote: “One beautiful thing keeps happening. A butterfly has been with me constantly, appearing wherever I go.”
Gemma added: “It brings me a sense of peace, and in my heart I truly feel it’s my mum letting me know she’s close, watching over me, and reminding me that love never really leaves us.”
That message struck a chord with fans. Gemma then thanked friends and followers again for helping her stay strong.
She ended the post with another emotional line. She wrote: “Thank you all for holding me up with your kindness. It means more than you’ll ever know.”
Gemma also shared one more personal detail about her healing. She wrote: “She loved @paulmccartney and the @thebeatles. I’m finding lots of healing listening to the music.”
What happened before Joan died?
Gemma first revealed the heartbreaking news earlier this week. She told followers Joan had passed away “peacefully” and was finally “out of pain”.
Joan had battled serious health problems for years. Last month, doctors treated her in hospital after she suffered pneumonia for the second time in six months.
- Gemma Collins rose to fame on The Only Way Is Essex, where members of her family were occasionally seen or mentioned.
- Over the years, Gemma regularly shared affectionate posts about her parents, Alan and Joan.
- In March, Gemma celebrated Alan and Joan’s 50th wedding anniversary with a public tribute.
- In July, Gemma announced that her mum Joan had died aged 70.
At the time, Gemma admitted she “couldn’t sleep with worry” while her mum received treatment. Before Christmas, Joan had also spent five weeks in hospital after another bout of pneumonia.
Gemma previously described that period as the “toughest” time of her life. Joan’s health struggles stretched back even further.
In 2020, Joan went to hospital with pneumonia. Reports also said she lived with rheumatoid arthritis, which weakened her immune system and left her more vulnerable to infections.
Then in 2024, Gemma faced another terrifying ordeal. Joan was admitted to intensive care after a breast cancer diagnosis.
At the time, Joan had found a cancerous lump between her breast and armpit. Doctors rushed her to hospital after she stopped breathing.
Gemma and Joan shared an incredibly close bond. That closeness now shines through in every tribute.
For now, Gemma’s memories of her mum, music and messages of support seem to be helping her cope. Her latest post made one thing clear. The grief is real, the love is lasting, and Joan remains close in her heart.
Read more: Gemma Collins quits social media in message to fans as she admits ‘life moves quickly’