The presenters on This Morning have been accused of spouting nonsense a lot of late, but today hosts Alison Hammond and Dermot O’Leary quite literally were chatting sh*t.
Possibly in a bid to attract headlines for things other than The Phillip Schofield Scandal – well done, it’s working! – the show invited on a man who wipes his backside with huge leaves.
Stop flushing your money down the toilet
Robin Greenfield, 36, told viewers they will be spend around £10,000 on toilet paper throughout their lives. And apparently we don’t need to be – there’s a much cheaper solution that’s kinder to the environment.
“I did the math, that’s two months of your working life, and I just said at that time, I’m not wiping my butt with my money anymore,” explained the environmental activist.
Robin hasn’t used bog roll in a decade, but he didn’t switch to leaves immediately, he revealed: “It took me a while, at first I just used napkins that people were throwing away, they haven’t been used but people are throwing them away.
“But after five years, a friend introduced me to a toilet paper plant, he gave me a cutting and within a year I had a toilet paper plant that was… growing enough leaves for I would say a family of five.”
Now, if you want the finer details, there are two different types of ‘toilet paper plant’ – one soft, one durable. One for any Jobby.
Robin is on a mission to spread his message about this environmentally friendlier way to wipe your bum.
Read more: Phillip Schofield ‘lover’ in ‘confrontation days before This Morning host came out’
Wiping wisdom
He warned: “I’m this guy that wipes my butt with leaves, and a lot of people think, “Oh man, this guy’s crazy, he’s wiping his butt with leaves”, and it wasn’t until me, doing this campaign for a while, realised “wait a sec, everybody who is wiping their butt with toilet paper is wiping their butt with leaves too”.
‘The difference is they have an industry between them that uses a lot of fossil fuels and water, and causes destruction to create these… I just cut out the middle man.’
‘This is a big funny thing, but really it’s incredibly serious… really what I’m here to do is to create critical thinking.”
The topic left viewers with a bad smell, with one commenting: “#thismorning reaches a new LOW having Hammond and O’Leary talking sh**”
Another said: “That’s how low This Morning has gone.”
A third even suggested: “This morning reduced to “I’ve ditched toilet paper for leaves.” FFS, take it off air.”
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