Race Across the World‘s Kush ends up in tears tonight as he recalls the moment his stepdad Matt died by suicide.
Kush, 19, explains that he was just 14 years old when Matt took his own life after struggling with his mental health.
The student’s biological dad had died when he was only one, so he had always regarded his stepdad as his father figure.
With his childhood best friend and teammate Jo next to him, Kush opens up about the two tragedies in his life.
Race Across the World’s Kush recalls late dad
In tonight’s episode, the four remaining teams travel from Tbilisi in Georgia to Kazakhstan. They end up flying due to roadblocks.
Once in the port city of Aktau, the teams must make their way to their fifth checkpoint in Zaamin National Park.
They are all apprehensive about this leg, due to the language barrier, cultural differences and safety concerns.
Kush and Jo manage to stay positive, quickly striking up friendships with locals. At one point, Kush even shares some unusual-looking food with an elderly woman on a train.
The pair later embark on a homestay with a local family. But speaking to the father of the house prompts Kush to reflect on his own.
He explains how his stepdad introduced him to Muay Thai and trained both him and his brother.
Kush recalls: “My biological dad passed away when I was one. My mum met my stepdad Matt, and he stepped in completely.
“He coached me and my brother for as long as I can remember.”
He smiles as he remembers training in the garden as a child.
“Even though we’re not blood, he never once treated me any differently. Having someone strong to look up to meant everything,” Kush says.
Kush’s tears over his father’s suicide
Later, Kush and Jo visit a local gym to join members of their host family for a judo session – a moment that clearly means a lot to him.
“Being in the gym, I wonder what he’d be thinking,” Kush says. “He’d be watching with that little smirk on his face.”
He then reflects on the day his stepdad died.
“It was during lockdown and it was a massive shock. He had really poor mental health and took his own life.
“You never forget that shock. I still think about him all the time.”
Overcome with emotion, Kush adds: “I wish I could show him who I am now. When I was 14, I didn’t know who I was.
“I feel like if I could show him what I’ve learned…”
He then buries his head in his arms and begins to cry, with Jo stepping in to comfort him.
Jo vows to ‘always be there’
Jo also recalls that time vividly, explaining how much it changed his friend.
“Losing Kush’s dad was so sudden. It definitely shaped who he is,” he says.
“He’s very careful now — always thinking ahead, always checking things. I think he just doesn’t want anything like that to happen again.”
Jo adds: “I’ll always be there for Kush, and I know he’ll always be there for me.”
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