Fiona Phillips has revealed exactly what it’s like to live with Alzheimer’s, after being diagnosed with the degenerative disease at the age of 61.
In her new book, Remember When: My Life with Alzheimer’s, the former TV presenter – who is now 64 – has shared the heartbreaking realities of the disease.
Husband Martin Frizell has also shared Fiona’s plea to him: “Please don’t leave me.”
Fiona Phillips’ new book
Fiona Phillips and husband Martin said they decided to write the book to give others hope.
“I hope this book can show people a little about what it’s like to live with Alzheimer’s,” Fiona wrote in the book. “How frightening and confusing it is. But also how much life can still bring joy and be valued.”
Last week, it appeared Fiona was doing just that, as Martin shared a video of the star enjoying an ice cream in the London sunshine.
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Memories ‘out of reach’
Fiona previously admitted that she always knew she’d get the disease. Both her mum and her dad were both diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. However, she didn’t think it would happen to her until a lot later on in life.
Now, the star – who shares grown-up sons Nathaniel and Mackenzie with Martin – is being cared for by the ex-This Morning boss.
In the book, they detail the family kitchen, strewn with pictures of their family holidays and snaps taken during Fiona’s illustrious career. However, Fiona admitted that the memories of the happy times depicted in the pictures are now “out of reach” to her.
“I know they are there. And yet so many of them feel out of my reach now,” she explained. “It’s like I stretch out to touch them, but then just as I’m about to grasp it, the memory skips away from me. And I can’t catch up with it. Like trying to chase a £5 note that’s fallen out of your purse on a gusty day.
“Each time I think I’ve caught it, it whips away again.”
Fiona Phillips on finding talking about her life ‘agonisingly difficult’
Another thing that the cruel disease has whipped away is her ability to chat.
“I used to be able to talk to anyone about anything. Nowadays, I can find talking about my life agonisingly difficult,” she shared. “Sometimes I get halfway through a sentence, and I can’t remember where I was heading with it or the word I was looking for. It feels awful.”
‘Please don’t leave me’
Music is one place she can find solace, though, Martin has said, with certain tunes transporting her back to her teens.
“She begins to sing, word perfect,” Martin wrote in the book, adding: “And I stroke her hair as she says: ‘Please don’t leave me.'”
The couple also shared details of a surprising – and brief – marriage split ahead of Fiona’s diagnosis.
Writing in the book, Fiona said she started to become “more and more disconnected from Martin and the boys”. Martin eventually said that he was moving out. However, the pair reunited after Fiona contemplated a future “without him”.
“And if I thought about what a future might be like without him, it just seemed bewildering. A sort of nothingness. I did spend time thinking about how I’d behaved towards him, not just in the past few months but over the years when I’d been so preoccupied with my parents and work. Not that I regretted that for a moment, but clearly it had taken its toll on our marriage,” she said.
Now, Martin is devoted to caring for his beloved wife, who he is being forced to say a heartbreaking “slow goodbye” to.
Read more: Fiona Phillips in fresh health blow as star suffering from painful ‘secondary’ illness
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