Former rugby player Joe Marler, who is appearing on The Jonathan Ross Show tonight (March 28), previously opened up about a shocking incident that influenced him to get help.
The 35-year-old, who appeared on Celebrity Traitors last year, sat down for an interview with The Guardian in 2020 and detailed a horrific time in his life.
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Joe Marler opened up about shocking incident
At the time, Joe recalled an argument he had with his wife, Daisy, which resulted in their kitchen getting wrecked 18 months prior to the interview.
Daisy was upset that Joe hadn’t tried to avoid hitting a squirrel while driving, after they had just dropped their children off at school.
Even though the squirrel managed to escape, Joe recalled that, due to a chemical imbalance in his brain, he “snapped”.
“We got home, and I just spiralled and lost control. I turned over the kitchen, punched in one of the doors. Then I got in the truck and drove off. I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. But it was a massive turning point because it was the most ashamed I’ve ever been. I didn’t recognise who I was anymore. After 30 minutes, I came back because I was running out on everything good in my life,” he explained.
Joe said Daisy was “crying” and remembered feeling “worried she was scared”.
After admitting they have spoken about it often, Joel added: “She [said]: ‘I was never scared of you. I was just upset and wondering who you were and what you were doing.’ She had no idea even during those times when she’d said: ‘Any danger of you actually being here, when you’re here?’ I wasn’t engaging because I was stuck in this fog. I didn’t feel like I could tell her or anyone because I was in complete denial there was anything wrong with me. We didn’t speak that night.”
‘I broke down’
The following day, Joe had a rugby game between Harlequins and Saracens.
His hand “was in agony,” so he contacted his doctor. When he visited, the doctor asked, “How did you do this?”
Joel said he “dropped a weight on it in the garage”. However, the doctor knew he hadn’t. After there was silence, the doctor then asked: “Are Daisy and the kids all right?” after telling him he hadn’t “dropped a weight on this”.
Joel “melted” in the moment and “broke down”. He told his doctor he felt “awful” and like he was a “bad person”.
The doctor suggested getting him “some help” and made sure to “keep it confidential” and “get someone independent” who didn’t know who he was.
‘I want to be strong enough to fight this with my brain’
After the game, Joel recalled crying his eyes out once it was over. Eventually, he found the courage to open up to Daisy.
He initially was “worried about burdening” her, declaring she’s got “enough [bleep] on her plate”. However, she was supportive.
After speaking to a psychiatrist, he recommended that Joe go on antidepressants, which he was hesitant to do.
“I said: ‘Humphrey, I don’t need that. I want to be strong enough to fight this with my brain.’ He’s like: ‘Joe, when you’re ill, do you take antibiotics?’ I said: ‘Yeah.’ So he said: “Antibiotics help fight the infection and then your body beats it. That’s how you should look at the antidepressants. They’re there as a chemical to help you whilst you’re learning these different techniques and understanding more. He broke down Escitalopram, the drug I was on, and said: ‘This is a cleaner drug with a smaller chance of side-effects. I was like: ‘OK, we’ll see how it goes.’ I really was fine,” he explained.
In recent years, Joe has become a voice for those struggling with mental health. He is the ambassador for the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM).
Joe uses his experience with severe depression, anger issues, and therapy to break the stigma around men’s mental health in professional sports.
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