Loose Women star Ruth Langsford has admitted the decision to put her beloved mum Joan into a care home was “really difficult”.
The topic of “care home guilt” was discussed on the show today (April 28), with Ruth joined by Coleen Nolan, Janet Street Porter and Judi Love.
Anchoring the debate, Ruth told Coleen: “It’s very easy for people to judge when they haven’t been in that position,” as she revealed she’d been trolled for moving her mum into a care home.
Ruth Langsford on ‘difficult’ care home decision for mum Joan
Ruth’s mum Joan is 94 and lives in a care home. She has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Ruth sees her mum very regularly, visiting her at the care home with her dog Maggie.
Speaking on the show today, Ruth shared: “I was talking about it and you said to me: ‘You don’t have to defend yourself, Ruth.’ I find myself doing that. Saying: ‘Oh look she’s getting the best care, if she was with me it would be lonely as I’m not there.’
“You feel like you are defending your decision. And I think that people have got to understand that, until you’re in that situation, it is a really difficult decision. And, ultimately, you are making the best decision for that person. And I also say to people that it’s hard but you’re making it with love. Because you love them.
“And, actually, if it was better for my mum to have her at my house and have a carer, then she’d have to be on her own with one carer. But where she is, she’s got lots of people, lots of activities. She’s very sociable my mum, so I think you have to make the decision and ignore the noise. Go with your gut and what’s right for you and your family.”
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Support from Loose Women viewers
Over on the hashtag, Ruth and the ladies were supported after sharing their care home guilt stories.
“Everyone’s experience of care is different,” said one. “Always a difficult decision.”
Others said the segment “really resonated” with them.
“It’s the ones [relatives] that waft in and out that object most to the care home option. It’s the ones there 24/7 who have to make the hard decisions,” said one viewer. “Really resonated with me.”
Read more: Ruth Langsford’s heartbreaking realisation following her sister’s suicide
Over the past few years, TV star Ruth Langsford has been open about dementia running in her family.
Ruth Langsford revealed her dad had dementia
During an appearance on Loose Women in 2017, Ruth opened up about her father, who had dementia.
Before his death in 2012, the presenter explained it was a hard time for her, explaining that she was grieving and losing her father.
While choking up, Ruth began to get emotional as she detailed that her dad had to go into care, sharing that it was also difficult for her mum, Joan.
‘I only worry about age in respect to my health’
Since her father’s death, Ruth’s mother also has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
“I lost my darling dad, Dennis, to Alzheimer’s, and now, sadly, my mum, Joan, has the disease,” she told Woman and Home magazine.
As time has gone on, Ruth has admitted she is fearful that she might get the disease.
Last year, she said: “Every time I forget something, instead of thinking it’s a senior moment, I think ‘Oh my God. Is this the start of Alzheimer’s? ‘ I don’t fear getting older. I embrace my age and I never lie about it. I’m 64 and I’m very happy to be 64.”
“I only worry about age in respect to my health. I think old age is wonderful, and I see many very active, interesting and brilliant older people and I hope that will be me.”
Ruth participated in the Alzheimer’s Society’s Surrey Memory Walk
In September 2024, Ruth participated in the Alzheimer’s Society’s Surrey Memory Walk in memory of her father and her Alzheimer’s-stricken mum.
It was the 14th time she had taken part in the walk.
“I want to thank all those who shared their stories with me as we walked together. There was a huge sense of accomplishment and pride,” she said.
The Alzheimer’s Society raised more than £64,000 from those who took part in the Surrey walk.
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