Loose Women star Coleen Nolan has addressed the upsetting challenges she and her family faced as their mum suffered with dementia.
The Nolans’ mum Maureen died in 2007, aged 81. She’d spent her final five years of life with Alzheimer’s.
Opening up on the Loose Women podcast, Coleen reflected on how she and her siblings had dealt with their mum’s decline in different ways. She also said she had “an element of guilt” at not being able to help more with her mother, as Coleen was away from Blackpool for work.
Coleen Nolan on losing her mum to dementia
Responding to the account of a listener whose mum also had the condition, Coleen said she could empathise with “resentment” the listener may have with their sister, who isn’t able to help out with their mother as much.
“When my mum had dementia, we all dealt with it differently,” Coleen recalled.
“We all tried to do as much as we could. But obviously, there were a couple of my sisters who did a lot more.”
She explained: “I was working. Bernie lived down south. Linda was working. So Anne and Denise and all of that – they lived in Blackpool, as my brothers did, and they did the majority of [caring for our mum].”
Coleen confessed she was worried she wasn’t contributing as much as might be expected. “There were moments when I was away and I’d be thinking: ‘Oh God. I’m not helping enough,'” she said.
But Coleen reasoned: “And I’m sure they had moments where they were going: ‘Are we just going to do it all?’ As it felt like that. And they were doing the hard stuff – helping her go to the bathroom and all those things.”
Coleen Nolan on the Loose Women podcast
Coleen, who made it clear she will “always be grateful” to her family for what they did for their mother, counselled whether the listener’s sister might be overwhelmed by their mum’s dementia.
“There were bits I just couldn’t deal with, with my mum. I couldn’t do it,” Coleen said.
There were bits I just couldn’t deal with, with my mum. I couldn’t do it.
She continued: “I still felt like a baby. It upset me so much. But my elder sisters would take over and they would shower her and change her. I’d have her during the day. So we all did our bit.”
Coleen then advised the listener and the sister to sit down and discuss matters sensitively.
“You might hear from her point of view that she’s also struggling, and may have massive guilt that she’s not helping as much,” she added.
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‘I was relieved’
An emotional Coleen also explained how it was over a year after her mum passed away before she could grieve properly.
It was only after this period of time she came to remember her mother as when Coleen was a child. Before that, the memory of seeing her mum “in turmoil” was too strong.
“I grieved for five years while she was still here,” Coleen shared. “So when she actually passed away I didn’t grieve at all, because I was relieved.”
Read more: Loose Women star Coleen Nolan makes ‘awful’ dementia revelation: ‘Put me in a home and walk away’
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