Paul O’Grady – who is the subject of The Life and Death of Lily Savage tonight (Friday, March 29) – has been open in the past about his relationship with his late partner Brendan Murphy.
From “proper punch-ups” to nursing him through his brain cancer battle, here’s everything we know about Paul‘s relationship with Brendan.
Paul O’Grady and partner Brendan Murphy
Paul and Brendan were close friends and lovers. Brendan was even Paul’s manager.
However, just days before Paul was to celebrate his 50th birthday in 2005, Brendan died, having being previously diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour.
Paul opened up about the sudden loss of his partner during an interview with The Mirror at the time. He confessed that it “couldn’t get any worse”.
“I’d lost my best mate, someone who’d been in my life for 25 years and saw me through the days when I was lucky to earn £50 for standing on a beer crate in the corner of a pub telling jokes. Murph and I were like brothers – joined at the hip, thick as thieves,” he said at the time.
“It transcended any sexual relationship we’d had. This was a partnership. A double act, Emma Peel and Steed, Laurel and Hardy. We were both 49, barely able to believe what we’d achieved – I’d just won a BAFTA for the Paul O’Grady Show – and then suddenly bang, he’s gone,” he then said.
Paul on Brendan’s cancer battle
Paul then continued at the time, saying: “Nothing could have prepared me for what was to come. To watch someone you love – a healthy, eloquent man – unable to speak or walk is hideous.”
Brendan was buried in a local church, near where Paul lived.
Following the funeral, Paul retreated to his country home, where he said he “howled for three days”. He then said that he “let go” and allows himself time for “quiet reflection”.
He confessed that it didn’t feel real that his partner had died, and that he sometimes thought he was away on holiday.
Detailing the moment they learned Brendan had cancer, Paul said that one day Brendan didn’t know what a cup was.
They rushed to hospital, and after a scan, they learned that he had brain cancer. Paul said that it was at this moment he knew “this was the end”.
Paul O’Grady on caring for late partner Brendan
Paul then spoke of how pleas to help Brendan fell on deaf ears, and his partner was in hospital waiting for the results of incorrect tests.
Eventually, Brendan moved to Paul’s house, where a nursing bed straight from the Holby City props store was installed.
Paul then revealed that he had “secret signal” that he would send Brendan while hosting The Paul O’Grady Show.
Some of the things Paul did to keep his partner entertained amid the cancer battle was tap dancing and play the trumpet.
He confessed that he’d become “ultra-protective” of Brendan amid his illness, and guarded him like a “pitbull”.
Sadly, two days before Paul’s 50th, Brendan died. Paul revelaed that Brendan’s death was “peaceful and dignified” and took place in hospital.
Paul O’Grady and Brendan Murphy’s ‘punch-ups’
In another interview, Paul rveealed that he and Brendan would have “punch-ups” during arguments.
Speaking to The Guardian in 2017, he said: “Murphy and I used to fight, proper punch-ups. We’d fight in the green room of the BBC. And that was love. When I was ill, I wasn’t bothered about myself, I was upset at what he was going through. Then, later, nursing him, seeing such a strong man lose the power of speech… He died in six weeks – the worst weeks of my life.”
He then continued. “And caring for him was so… frustrating. I went into the hospital at one point and offered £100 for a urine bottle, but they couldn’t give me one.
“That’s why I’m so obsessed with carers – you’re just left to get on with it. The isolation, the loneliness, the fear. It does permanent damage. I went quieter after Murphy died,” he then added.
Paul buried next to Brendan
Last year, Paul died, aged just 67.
His funeral took place in Bonnington, Kent, and he was buried next to Brendan in the grounds of the Church of St Rumwold.
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The Life and Death of Lily Savage airs tonight (Friday, March 29) at 9pm on ITV1 and ITVX.
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