Love Island All Stars stars Georgia, Liberty and Mitch
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OPINION: Messy frat boys, grafting girls and no Ovie – ITV has missed the mark with Love Island All Stars

Although messy Mitch did get his comeuppance tonight…

Tonight’s episode of Love Island All Stars (January 18) saw Mitch up to his old messy tricks, Chris get pied by a crying Molly and three Islanders go on a date with someone they already knew.

If you’re wondering why Love Island is just a teeny bit boring this winter, wonder no more, I’ll put you out of your misery. It’s because – quite literally – we’ve seen it all before.

Why it was repackaged as a chance for them to find love a second time around is beyond me – they seem like a bunch of mates on holiday. “They are literally all friends,” screamed one viewer on social media. “It’s very weird to flirt with people you probably already put in a friend zone before,” they added. 

They’re not wrong. It just doesn’t work. While the all stars version of I’m A Celebrity hit the mark, Love Island All Stars definitely hasn’t so far.

Three stars on Love Island cheers-ing with their champagne flutes
There’s a new boy in the villa, but he isn’t actually a stranger to anyone, it seems (Credit: ITV)

Love Island tonight – a total snooze-fest of an episode

Two days in and Georgia S is pretty much married off to Toby. Something clearly went down on Love Island Games, something us Brits haven’t seen. But there’s pretty much no point in them being there… unless it’s for the money.

New boy Joshua asked three girls on a date. Three girls he already knew. Which begs the question, why didn’t he do something about his feelings for them in the outside world? Unless it’s for the money.

I’m not buying this whole Callum and Molly split, either. Is there something the pair of them aren’t telling us? They’ve only been broken up for six months, bit soon for smooching and snogging other people right in each other’s faces, no?

Twitter’s had enough of the saga too, with many a tweeter telling them to pack their bags, depart the villa and sort their relationship out at home. So why are they there? For a PLT deal in Molly’s case, Twitter reckons! I reckon it’s for, you guessed it, the money!

Come on girls, know your worth!

It just isn’t working and, in the words of Liberty, part of the reason is because all of these girls need to know their worth. The boys in the villa are just that. Boys. The likes of Liberty, Kaz, Hannah and Georgia H need a real man, not some messy frat boy. Although seeing Demi snog Luis straight after messy Mitch promised to only graft her for as long as she wanted to be grafted made me cheer at the screen.

But back to my point… Where is Ovie?! Arguably THE BEST Love Island contestant of all time. Where’s Kem? Please give these young women someone respectful and worthy of their grafting. But would any decent man really want to see a woman graft for them?

Now perhaps I’m showing my age here, but in my day, men chased women. Fair enough, make it known you like someone. You want them to know they have a chance. But some of the girls’ behaviour just reeks of desperation.

Watching the episode of Love Island All Stars tonight makes me realise that I would not want to enter the dating pool again for all the money or TV fame in the world. Plus I’d definitely be the last to be picked around the fire pit.

Give this old married her pipe and slippers (and The Traitors). My dating show days are done… unless Ovie comes in. All bets, and maybe even my marriage, might even be off then!

Read more: Love Island All Stars cast’s net worth – and who’s the most popular on socials

Love Island continues tomorrow night (January 19) at 9pm on ITV2.

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Nancy Brown
Associate Editor