TV chef and bestselling author Ainsley Harriott separated from his wife Clare Fellows in 2012, after spending more than two decades together.
They have two children, and remain on good terms. Their split was “completely amicable”, a spokesperson said shortly afterwards.
The separation may have had something to do with Ainsley’s “national treasure” status. But its amicability had to do with an incident that occurred in Birmingham, many years ago.
Despite having one had a “hit” placed on him through an online “assassination service”, Ainsley is sure that anger “harms your soul”. It’s the best lesson he has ever learned.
Ainsley Harriott avoids anger at all costs, and it helped him stay friends with his wife
The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return. Well, not if you’re Ainsley Harriott. The best lesson he ever learned is to be nice to people – and be less angry. Why? Because anger harms your soul, he told the Telegraph earlier this year.
“It turns you into someone who is constantly on guard and on the defensive. I can remember a time, 30 years ago, when I was in Birmingham and went into a shop looking for batteries.”
The salesperson recognised him despite the fact that he was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses.
“‘It’s you, isn’t it? You’re hiding.’ More sharply than I’d have liked, saying exasperatedly: ‘I’m not hiding, I just want some batteries!'”
The episode still weighs on his mind, despite its brevity. For this reason, he sees it as proof of the pointlessness of getting frustrated.
“Even when I went through my break-up with my wife [in 2012]. We are still good friends because we still respected each other and didn’t want an acrimonious split.”
Ainsley being a ‘national treasure’ took its toll on ex
In conversation with Rylan Clark on his How to Be in the Spotlight podcast, Ainsley once reflected on what it means to be a “national treasure”. Some might see it as an enviable position. Ainsley reckoned it is not.
“I think it’s difficult for partners, it was certainly difficult for my ex so I think that probably contributed to our break up,” he said.
“Because you’re sharing that person that you love all the time and that’s really hard. We’ve all been there, a lot of people in the industry have been there. You feel divided.”
The Ready Steady Cook star admitted years after the separation that he still had “love and feelings” for Clare.
“That never stops,” he insisted. “Because she gave me the most important things in my life, and there is a respect there. But everyone moves on, and that’s fine.”
Ainsley Harriott presents The Best Dishes Ever on BBC Two. Catch it at 12:30pm on Saturday.
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