Virgin Island cast
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Virgin Island star splits from partner as ‘challenging’ sex surrogacy blamed: ‘I suffered, he suffered’

'It's very, very, very difficult to have a partner and be a surrogate'

Virgin Island put the work of sex surrogates in the spotlight when the documentary series aired on Channel 4 earlier this year.

The show saw 12 virgins living on a Croatian island for two weeks. And, during that time, they were coached in all things intimate with the help of a team of experts.

Two of the show’s experts – one male and one female – were working as surrogate partners. Surrogate partners do everything an actual partner would do – up to and including sex for one of the show’s participants.

However, it’s a career that not only raised eyebrows with Channel 4 viewers, but also with those closest to the therapists, as Virgin Island’s Joy Rigel told ED! in an exclusive chat…

Virgin Island cast
Virgin Island saw therapists help 12 virgins with their intimacy issues (Credit: Channel 4)

What does being a surrogate partner entail?

Surrogate partners, once known as sex surrogates, work alongside a therapist and the client to address intimacy and sexual issues. The surrogate partner, under the guidance of a therapist, provides a safe and structured environment for the client to explore and address these issues. And it potentially includes physical touch and sexual contact. The goal is to help the client develop comfort, skills and confidence in intimate relationships.

Going into Virgin Island, Joy told ED! that she was approached to sign up as a surrogate partner. However, because it’s a role that she thinks is “misunderstood”, she decided to appear as an intimacy coach instead.

She told us: “I was nervous about it because being a surrogate is very misunderstood. And a lot of people just can’t do it. I ended up not going on as a surrogate because I just felt like it would be too much.”

Joy added that she’s stopped working as a sex surrogate because she found that “when people feel sex is possibly on the table, it closes the potential for an emotional connection”.

“As soon as the idea that sex is on table, it changes the energy,” she said. “But if we just take sex off the table, something really beautiful opens up. And that is what I did with Virgin Island and the participants.”

Joy Rigel from Virgin Island smiling
Joy Rigel was one of the intimacy coaches on Channel 4 series Virgin Island (Credit: Supplied)

Virgin Island therapist Joy on her own love split

Another reason Joy gave up working as a surrogate partner was because it was impacting her own love life. Sadly, after the series aired and despite stopping surrogacy, she split from her partner.

“It’s very, very, very difficult to have a partner and be a surrogate, to be honest,” she shared. “I haven’t found someone that really feels able to be with me in this reality. My partner and I broke up. You know, it’s challenging,” she said.

“It was really fun to watch the show because we already knew that it was on table before we started dating,” she said. “But I stopped surrogacy because it was too much for him to wonder about all the time. ‘What’s she up to? Who is she with?’

“I suffered, he suffered. So taking that off the table for my relationship, I tried it for a while, but I really started to suffer because there’s still so much more to uncover in terms of human connection.”

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A post shared by Joy Rigel (@joy.rigel)

Series 2 – and why Joy is wary of signing up

Channel 4 has confirmed that series 2 of Virgin Island has been commissioned. However, she’s unsure if she’ll appear.

“I wish that they [the producers] weren’t focussed on certain things, just for the benefit of the whole public. Like, my work got cut out and just the physical side of things was shown. I’m grateful for that, but as far as the other therapists, we’re all kind of like: ‘Well, we didn’t get a lot from the show. Our businesses didn’t grow, we didn’t get a lot of publicity.’

“It’s just a shame that it wasn’t highlighted. I have had a talk about coming back for series 2 but I’m not sure. You give a lot of yourself to do that sort of thing and I don’t have creative rights, so I’m thinking about it,” she revealed.

Casting for Virgin Island series 2 is now open.

Read more: ‘Very clear rule’ Virgin Island therapists had to follow with show’s cast

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Nancy Brown
Editor