Paul O'Grady on This Morning
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Inside Paul O’Grady’s life of loss that earned him the ‘Grim Reaper’ nickname – from dad’s death when he was a teen to tragic loss of cousin

Paul died last year

Paul O’Grady – whose life is to be celebrated tonight (Saturday, March 30) in the documentary, The Life and Death of Lily Savage – suffered something of a life of loss.

So much so, that he eventually picked up the nickname, The Grim Reaper. Here’s everything we know about his losses.

Paul O'Grady on This Morning
Paul’s died when the comedian was 17 (Credit: ITV)

Paul O’Grady on death of his dad

During his late teens, Paul lost his father to a broken heart.

Paul’s mother had just suffered a heart attack – and though she survived, her husband didn’t. The TV star spoke of the devastating incident during an episode of Desert Island Discs in 2003.

“My mum had a serious heart attack when I was 17. She was taken into hospital and the doctors said to my father ‘she’s not going to last the night’ and my dad was dead in the morning,” he said.

“He just collapsed on the spot. The doctor said ‘if I could put on the death certificate that he died of a broken heart then I would’,” he then continued.

“My mum survived for another 13 or 14 years. Dreadful,” he then said. “I’ll never forget it. I was stood next to him and he went down like a ton of bricks. He literally couldn’t cope without my mother.”

Paul O'Grady near Battersea
Paul lost his cousin in 2020 (Credit: ITV)

Paul O’Grady on death of cousin Maureen

In 2021, during an interview with the Daily Mail, Paul revealed that his cousin, Maureen, had died the year before.

He admitted that he’d been “shocked” at how sudden her death had been – and the fact that she’d only been four years older than him.

“My cousin Maureen died earlier this year, she was only four years older than me. She went to bed with indigestion and when her partner brought her a cup of tea she was dead,” he said at the time.

“The postmortem said it was as quick as a light switch going off.”

As a result of her death, Paul confessed he now looks at life differently. He said that he doesn’t lose sleep over “petty” things.

“I’ve learnt not to worry about petty things that I used to lose sleep over now. I don’t let myself get stressed out anymore about daft things,” he said.

Paul O'Grady on The One Show
Paul lost his partner to cancer (Credit: BBC)

Paul O’Grady lost partner to cancer

Back in 2005, Paul’s partner of 25 years, Brendan Murphy, passed away after being diagnosed with an incurable brain tumour.

It was six weeks from the diagnosis to his death – a period that Paul has described as “the worst weeks of my life”.

“I’d lost my best mate, someone who’d been in my life for 25 years and saw me through the days when I was lucky to earn £50 for standing on a beer crate in the corner of a pub telling jokes. Murph and I were like brothers – joined at the hip, thick as thieves,” he told the Mirror in 2005.

“It transcended any sexual relationship we’d had. This was a partnership. A double act, Emma Peel and Steed, Laurel and Hardy. We were both 49, barely able to believe what we’d achieved – I’d just won a BAFTA for the Paul O’Grady Show – and then suddenly bang, he’s gone,” he then continued.

“Nothing could have prepared me for what was to come. To watch someone you love – a healthy, eloquent man – unable to speak or walk is hideous.”

Paul O'Grady on Parkinson
Paul lost close friends (Credit: BBC)

‘I feel like the Grim Reaper’

Back in 2015, Paul admitted he felt “battered” after losing close friends Cilla Black and Jackie Collins.

“I’ve lost just about everybody I know. I’ve been used to it. When Aids hit London, it wiped out all of my friends. And you’d nurse them as well, and you’d have to break the news to their families, that they’ve got Aids, and the stigma surrounding it at the time … ‘We’ll say he’s got cancer.’ As if that was easier. But, to be honest with you, this year, I feel battered by it. Battered,” he told The Guardian at the time.

Prior to their deaths, Paul had written about Cilla and Jackie in his book, Open the Cage, Murphy. However, both died before it was released.

“I’m scared to write about anybody! I feel like the Grim Reaper with a pen,” he joked.

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Read more: Paul O’Grady’s husband leaves fans in tears with unseen videos of the star: ‘So nice to hear his voice’

The Life and Death of Lily Savage airs tonight (Friday, March 29) at 9pm on ITV1 and ITVX.

Paul O'Grady's speech at Cilla Black's funeral

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Robert Emlyn Slater
Senior Writer

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