Emma Willis broke down in tears as she relived her husband Matt Willis’ relapse into addiction five years ago, and admitted she lives in constant fear of it happening again.
The TV presenter, 47, revealed the painful truth about living with an addict during their BBC One documentary Matt Willis: Fighting Addiction, which aired this spring.
An emotional Emma – back with The Voice UK tonight (December 23) – also admitted she kept a secret diary in which she wrote notes on her husband Matt’s alcohol and drug consumption, admitting: “It was every single day.”
In the raw footage, filmed inside their 1.7million home in Hertfordshire, Emma was seen flicking through the diary, which she still keeps as a reminder.
Matt Willis: Fighting Addiction on BBC One
The one-off documentary Matt Willis: Fighting Addiction was a brutally honest account of his battle with drink and drugs dependency.
The Busted star, actor and dad of three admitted to drinking and “getting high” from a young age to escape a “violent childhood”.
In this raw and honest documentary, Matt opened up about his past and took an extensive look into his battle with drugs and alcohol. He discussed how it has pushed him to the edge, and his daily struggle to keep himself clean and sober. He admitted he – and his wife – live in fear of his relapse.
The film looked back at some of Matt’s darkest days as he begins to explore what could be behind his addiction. He met other addicts, as well as professionals in the hope of understanding his addiction.
Matt also met up with his brother to revisit their childhood home, to see if the roots of his addictions can be found in their past.
Matt Willis’ relapse into addiction during Busted reunion tour
In a rare insight into Emma Willis’ home life with Matt, viewers saw the former Big Brother presenter open up about the devastation Matt’s addiction can cause.
Often in tears, Emma admitted the “worry” is that he will relapse into addiction. Within three months of knowing each other, Matt was in rehab for the first time. And he’s battled addiction to drugs and alcohol ever since.
In fact, Matt spent the weeks before their marriage in rehab. During the hour-long documentary, Emma admits the visit was make or break, admitting: “It would have broken us.”
However, after a spell in residential rehab The Provy – the Providence Project – Matt emerged clean. He married Emma in a stunning ceremony surrounded by family and friends. These included Ant and Dec, and Busted co-stars James Bourne, and Charlie Simpson
However, Emma’s world fell apart when Matt relapsed during Busted’s reunion tour five years ago.
In the documentary, Emma admitted: “I didn’t expect it. I think because he had been doing so well for such a long time; it was the last thing I thought.”
Of course, it’s understandable that Emma fears he will relapse again, especially as he is set to tour with Busted again in 2023.
Emma Willis fears husband will relapse again
In tears, Emma admitted she and Matt rarely talked about his issues before filming the BBC One documentary. She said: “You live in it so much when it happens that once you’re through it, it’s such a [bleeping] relief that you don’t want to go back and talk about it.”
She added: “Living with someone with addiction is unpredictable and anxiety inducing. I try not to think too much about the past. But then I have to remind myself that he’s relapsed massively when I thought he was all good.”
In heartfelt scenes, Emma looked through a diary of Matt’s drink and drug taking, and admitted she was forced to “drive around looking” for her husband Matt Willis during his drug and booze benders.
She said: “I visited all the pubs but, of course, he went to the ones I didn’t know about.”
Tragically, she added: “The one person you want to be able to understand what you are going through, they can’t. Because they’re in the middle of it.”
Emma also admitted that many people advised her to leave Matt after his relapse.
She said: “It’s very easy for people on the outside to say ‘get out, leave him’, but when you have that history with someone, and you love someone so dearly… I’m not going anywhere. But it’s not easy.
“Addiction is part of who he is, and who he is is who I love.”
Meanwhile, Matt admitted he’s “hurt Emma so many times”.
He said: “Nothing I could say could make up for the [bleep] that I’ve put her through. Everything I do on a daily basis is to make myself ‘not that guy’ that she saw.”
Read more: Matt Willis makes shock confession about his wedding to Emma following addiction struggle
Matt Willis: Fighting Addiction is on BBC iPlayer. The Voice UK is on ITV1 tonight (December 23) at 8.10pm.
Do you think Emma and Matt are brave for talking about his addiction? Leave us a comment on our Facebook page @EntertainmentDailyFix.