Channel 4 documentary A Paedophile in My Family: Surviving Dad details the horrifying abuse Emily Victoria suffered at the hands of her paedophile father.
Now 32, Emily is a successful businesswoman and mother. She recently discovered her dad had been released from prison, and decided to “embark on journey” to discover how his abuse went undiscovered for so long. Even her own mum was unaware of her husband’s disgusting acts in the same house.
In the documentary, Emily goes back in time to talk to her school teachers, friends, and mum, to find out how they could have missed it…
Emily Victoria talks about sexual abuse from paedophile dad
To an outsider Emily Victoria seems to have it all. She’s a successful businesswoman, who also works in the media, and a mother. Nobody could guess that Emily was bought up in a toxic climate, where her own dad was a paedophile. He sexually abused her from the age of two until she was 18.
At 18 years old, she bravely spoke up about his actions. Of course, Emily carries the weight of a childhood of repeated sexual abuse by her father. Emily was sexually abused multiple times, at home, and often on dog walks.
Recently, after hearing her paedophile dad had been released from prison, Emily Victoria chose to confront her past. The abuse survivor speaks to those who could have helped, asking how it went undiscovered.
She says: “I’m going to use my voice to help abuse survivors. I want to make a difference and inspire people. Embarking on the journey to find out why the sexual abuse from my father went unnoticed. I suddenly felt very emotional. It’s just so hard, I have to deal with it all the time.”
Shockingly, one in 20 children are sexually abused.
‘My dad abused me from the age of 2’
Emily Victoria reveals that her father “started abusing me when I was two”. She grew up with her two brothers in a little village in the south of England.
Speaking to The Times ahead of the documentary, she said: “Throughout my childhood I lived my life as if in a prison, just without the bars. I was a shell of a human.
“People sometimes say: ‘You didn’t know what was happening was wrong when you were little.’ It comes from a good place but it’s incorrect. From the first moment, I knew something was horrendously wrong and I spent years trying to escape that.”
Looking back now, Emily is keen to discover why no one detected what was happening. She says: “For years I hoped someone – a relative, a friend, my mother – might spot what was going on with me. Eventually I just accepted my fate.”
She adds: “When you read my school reports the red flags are there; I was absent from school so often.”
However, Emily admits she was excellent at hiding the abuse. She says: “In those awful moments of abuse I had to be happy and smiley to Dad.”
She also reveals that her dad was an alcoholic and extremely violent. He kicked her, and even tied her by her hair to the banisters “for the smallest thing such as chewing too loudly”.
During her childhood, Emily’s dad worked as an estate agent, then a tarmacker. Horrifyingly, he became a foster parent when Emily was 8 years old.
Emily Victoria’s mum ‘didn’t notice what was going on’ with paedophile dad
In the documentary, Emily breaks down when she speaks to her mum, now happily remarried. She does not blame her mum, and describes her as “the most generous, loving person”.
Emily says: “Like so many mothers and wives, she didn’t notice what was going on behind the scenes. Now I’ve learnt not to carry guilt but, at the time, I felt so terrible that Dad wanted to be with me instead of her. I might have resented her as well and thought, why wasn’t she able to see what was going on?”
Later, Emily says: “When she found out what had happened, she was devastated at the abhorrent abuse. It shook her to the core.”
Emily Victoria reported her dad when she was 18
After years of being abused by her dad, Emily eventually went to the police and reported her father. She was 18 at the time – 14 years ago. She suspected that he was also abusing his foster children
In the C4 doc, Emily tracks down the police who dealt with her case at the time. Shockingly, her dad’s statement attempted to put the blame on Emily.
He told police: “Emily was a very sexual kid. I didn’t do anything she didn’t want. [It was] a very loving relationship. I didn’t have to force her or tell her not to tell.”
One officer remembers: “There was no part of him that felt bad for what had happened.”
However, Emily’s dad did eventually plead guilty to the crimes. Now, Emily acknowledges that her dad “was sick and messed up”.
A judge sentenced him to 14 years in prison, although he was recently released. His release prompted Emily to seek answers.
She says: “My aim was to start a conversation about why my abuse was invisible for so long to everyone, including my mum. To a point my motivation was personal. Much as I don’t like to admit it to myself, what Dad did to me still has an effect on my life.”
Emily contacted her father via a restorative justice facilitator to see if he was prepared to meet. At the time, he was a unemployed and living in council accommodation. Her father refused.
‘I spent years running from the pain’
Emily admits that once her dad was in jail, she spent years “running from the pain”.
She says: “I did modelling, presenting, learning, travelling anywhere and everywhere on jets from Monaco to St Tropez. Attending lavish parties and climbing the social ladder as far away from my past as possible. Building my career in London and Dubai. I was very Emily in Paris – anything to keep my focus away from the reality of the first 18 years.”
When she eventually had her son, she had to face the past to be the best parent.
A Paedophile in My Family: Surviving Dad on Channel 4
Channel 4 describe the one-off TV programme as “an extraordinarily intimate documentary” looking at the abuse Emily Victoria suffered by her paedophile dad.
A Paedophile in My Family: Surviving Dad is an emotional portrayal of the effects of long-term abuse, showing the importance of confronting our past and the power of speaking up.
With his release from prison, Emily considers confronting the person who dominated her childhood as she seeks to find out if the time inside has changed him at all.
She reaches out to those from her childhood – teachers, family friends, and her mother – trying to understand how her abuse remained hidden for so long. Emily also reconnects with the police officers who dealt with her case, and is shocked by what she sees as her father’s manipulation and cowardliness.
Emily grapples with whether opening old wounds is worth it, but she’s determined to help others who have suffered similarly.
Read more: Hunting Gary Glitter: Shocking truth behind the paedophile’s crimes
A Paedophile in My Family: Surviving Dad airs on Channel 4 at 9pm on Wednesday, May 31, 2023.
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