Jane Moore has said she feels no guilt about moving her mum, who has Alzheimer’s, into a care home.
Speaking on Loose Women on Wednesday, October 14, she explained why her mother needs specialist nursing care. The move followed years of difficulty finding an arrangement that worked for the family.
Asked whether she felt bad about the decision, Jane said: “I never felt bad. I don’t do guilt.”
Her mum is now settled, and Jane visits every other day. Jane said the decision had been right for her mother, herself and her children. Her children can also visit their grandmother.
Jane Moore on her mum’s Alzheimer’s care
Jane explained that her mum cannot be left alone and needs nursing support. She said her mother wanders and gets up during the night.
She acknowledged that other families can feel guilty about placing relatives in care homes. But she was clear about the limits of what she could provide herself.
Jane pointed to the specialist knowledge, safeguarding and care systems her mother needs. She said: “I don’t have the skills to be a dementia carer.”
Jane Moore’s struggle to find the right care
Jane’s account also revealed how difficult the earlier stages had been. After being told her mother should no longer live alone by doctors, she faced two or three years of resistance.
Jane said: “She fought me at every turn.”
Her mum spent some time living with her, but Jane’s home had no downstairs toilet. Her mother could not manage the stairs.
At the same time, Jane was working and going through a divorce. Eventually, she contacted a local care home to ask about a stay of three or four weeks. She needed a break from the pressures.
Jane said: “I just got so desperate. I just need a break.”
Her mum later moved into a very expensive home but did not settle there. A move to a more moderately priced home followed.
Sue Cleaver shares her own care home fears
The discussion centred on whether elderly relatives should move in with their families. Christine Lampard, Sue Cleaver and Janet Street-Porter joined Jane on the panel.
Sue said her own mum still lives independently. She worried about the possibility of someone being unkind to her mother in a care home.
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However, she also recognised that she lacks the nursing skills needed if more complex care became necessary.
Janet encouraged viewers to consider their future care arrangements in advance. That included thinking about whether their homes have space for someone to live there and provide support.
Loose Women airs weekdays at 12.30pm on ITV.
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