Back in the heady days of 2019 EastEnders Sharon and Keanu had a steamy illicit affair, which made gripping telly.
Sheanu, as the fans dubbed them, were the hottest – secret – couple in Walford, as they cheated on both Phil and Phil’s daughter Louise.
And when both Sharon and Louise got pregnant by Keanu, well! That was just another twist in the tale.
Meanwhile, oblivious Mr Mitchell brought Keanu into the family, treating him like another son.
So when the affair was revealed the fall out was HUGE. It even indirectly led to the death of Sharon’s son Denny, who was drowned in the boat crash caused by Phil giving Keanu a savage beating on deck.
Keanu’s back for Sharon!
But now Keanu’s back in Walford, claiming he’s in love with Sharon and wanting to build a family with her and little Albie.
For a while it looked like Shaz was keeping her (much) younger man at arm’s length – making him work for it!
But recently she relented a bit and even let him organise a totally unnecessary christening for little Albie.
Keanu, though, decided he needed some extra wonga to pay Kathy for the sandwich platters and instead of getting a job like a normal person, got mixed up with Ravi’s dodgy drug dealing instead.
Needless to say, it didn’t go well.
Disaster strikes for EastEnders’ Sharon and Keanu
Keanu ended up arrested, then released, then beaten to a pulp by a furious Ravi.
And Sharon was FUMING. She told Keanu she wanted nothing to do with him, only to waver when she thought he could die.
We all know there’s no fury like a Watts scorned – and when Sharon heard a voicemail from Keanu, mentioning Ravi just as he was attacked – she gave it to the police.
Don’t do it, Shaz!
YES! Her vengeful expression at the end of Wednesday’s episode was a thing of beauty and a warning not to mess with Sharon Watts.
But not 24 hours later and Sharon was simpering all over Keanu in his hospital bed telling him how scared she was when she thought she could lose him.
And then she went a step too far – she proposed!
Nope
Sharon, love. We need a word.
There is no doubting that Keanu is very pretty. And he’s sweet with Albie, that’s true. But come on!
Sharon has been there, done that, got the T-shirt. She’s lost two loves of her life – Dennis and Tom. She’s found her long-lost adopted brother, and her long-lost actual brother. Shazza’s been married and divorced, more than once. She’s buried her son. She’s a businesswoman, and a mother, and a grandmother. Sharon Watts is the absolute Queen of Walford.
Sharon and Keanu ain’t happening
Meanwhile, Keanu is a mess. Trouble, as his sister Bernie pointed out, follows him around. He’s hapless and hopeless and not very good at staying on the right side of the law. He proposed to Sharon with the same ring he once proposed to Louise with.
In short, he’s not good enough for Queen Shaz. Not now, not ever.
Like Kat said about Keanu: “He’s 23. He loves Grand Theft Auto and cheesy garlic bread.”
Sharon deserves so much more.
Read more: Who is leaving EastEnders this year?
EastEnders usually airs Monday to Thursday at 7.30pm on BBC One.
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